Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Happy Birthday . . . to Me!

Today is my birthday. I am turning 33. I got the sweetest good morning from my son. I woke up a little bit before him. He walked out into the living room with his super sleepy eyes and before he said anything else, he said to me in his super excited voice, "Happy Birthday Mommy. Now you are 33!". It was one of those moments that makes being a mommy all worthwhile.

I have to admit. Lately, I have been in a real funk. I can't put my finger on what is not right, but it is something. Mostly I am just burnt out! I don't like to use the word 'should', but I should be happy. I have a great husband, two awesome kids, I get to be a stay at home mom like I always wanted. Somewhere along the way, though, I think I have lost a little of myself.

I am sure some of you other moms out there can relate. I tend to put myself last. I am the last one to start eating at dinner. Only after everyone has what they need do I sit down and actually eat myself. I am the last one to get dressed and ready in the morning, only after the kids are up and ready to go. I make their breakfast, comb hair, help them get dressed, get their teeth brushed, get all of our stuff ready to go, pack snacks and diapers and anything else we might need while we are out. Then, and only then, do I get ready myself.

Now, please don't think I am complaining. I love being a mom, but I am having a hard time having anything to give them right now since I am not taking very good care of myself. For me, it is so hard. I feel tremendous guilt when I do things for myself. As if I should be doing something else! It is so silly. How can I think I can take care of anyone else if I am not taking care of myself? I have written about taking care of yourself as a mom before, and it is the time I take some of my own advice!

So, with this new birthday, I am going to start taking care of myself. Putting my needs first. I can't do that all time, nor should I, but at least some of the time I need to do things I want to do, just because I want to do them. I need to stop making excuses for why I can't/won't/shouldn't get out of the house without the kids. And I really need to start making exercise and sleep a priority so that when the kiddos are in bed I am not completely wiped out and can focus on what I love to do - crafting!

Thank you for reading along with me on this journey we call life! I am excited to start feeling like myself again.

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