Monday, December 17, 2012

Heartbreak . . .

This morning as I hugged and kissed my son and put him on his school bus, tears welled up in my eyes. Tears for the families who should be putting their kids on the school bus this morning and can't. Tears for the families that will have to put their kids back on the bus and send them to school after such a tragedy has occurred. Tears for my own son knowing there is no way I can protect him and keep him completely safe.

In the wake of Friday's tragedy at Sandy Hook Elementary, I have been trying to compose my thoughts and feelings to share with you. The struggle comes in that there are absolutely no words. No words to describe how horrific the whole situation is. No words to express how completely heartbroken I am for those families involved.

I spent Friday watching the news, but mostly getting my information online so I wouldn't have to expose my kids to the tragedy. I had to spend the rest of the weekend with the news turned off because I simply could not watch it anymore.

I cannot begin to imagine what the families of those who lost their lives are going through. You expect to send your child to school and for them to return home safe. Those sweet children got up Friday morning, expecting it to be like any other day. Ready for the weekend to spend time with their families. Excited for Christmas to be here so soon. And all of that was taken from them. From their families. Twenty-six families will be spending the holidays with a huge hole in their hearts. How can they pick up the pieces and move on? I honestly do not know. All I know is it is devastatingly heart wrenching to even think about.

There is nothing anyone can do or say to help ease the grief those families must be feeling. All we can do is offer our empathy, love, and prayers.

I want to share the United Way page for Newtown in case you are looking for a tangible way to help. You can find the information for making a donation to help the victims. United Way of Western Connecticut

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Happy Birthday . . . to Me!

Today is my birthday. I am turning 33. I got the sweetest good morning from my son. I woke up a little bit before him. He walked out into the living room with his super sleepy eyes and before he said anything else, he said to me in his super excited voice, "Happy Birthday Mommy. Now you are 33!". It was one of those moments that makes being a mommy all worthwhile.


I have to admit. Lately, I have been in a real funk. I can't put my finger on what is not right, but it is something. Mostly I am just burnt out! I don't like to use the word 'should', but I should be happy. I have a great husband, two awesome kids, I get to be a stay at home mom like I always wanted. Somewhere along the way, though, I think I have lost a little of myself.


I am sure some of you other moms out there can relate. I tend to put myself last. I am the last one to start eating at dinner. Only after everyone has what they need do I sit down and actually eat myself. I am the last one to get dressed and ready in the morning, only after the kids are up and ready to go. I make their breakfast, comb hair, help them get dressed, get their teeth brushed, get all of our stuff ready to go, pack snacks and diapers and anything else we might need while we are out. Then, and only then, do I get ready myself.

Now, please don't think I am complaining. I love being a mom, but I am having a hard time having anything to give them right now since I am not taking very good care of myself. For me, it is so hard. I feel tremendous guilt when I do things for myself. As if I should be doing something else! It is so silly. How can I think I can take care of anyone else if I am not taking care of myself? I have written about taking care of yourself as a mom before, and it is the time I take some of my own advice!


So, with this new birthday, I am going to start taking care of myself. Putting my needs first. I can't do that all time, nor should I, but at least some of the time I need to do things I want to do, just because I want to do them. I need to stop making excuses for why I can't/won't/shouldn't get out of the house without the kids. And I really need to start making exercise and sleep a priority so that when the kiddos are in bed I am not completely wiped out and can focus on what I love to do - crafting!

Thank you for reading along with me on this journey we call life! I am excited to start feeling like myself again.